| How to Avoid International Dating Scams: 10 RULES To Follow An Excerpt From the Book "Foreign Bride 101" Many, many positive things will come out of your foreign bride search - not the least of which is your exciting, new soul-mate - but I would be irresponsible to not mention the various scam scenarios I've been aware of over the years. A certain percentage of foreign women join International Marriage Agencies to attempt to secure short-term cash from gullible, lonely men. Nearly every man will encounter an attempted scam at some point in his quest for international love. An understanding of how scams happen, and a few basic rules of protocol while conducting our foreign bride search will save most guys from getting duped! Let's look at how and why scams happen! |
I once observed a Romance Tour Director begin his orientation in St. Petersburg by telling the guys “Look, let me give you some good advice right now. If any of these women asks you for money, drop her and move on. If any lady gives you any amount of s--t on this tour, drop her and move on. There will be hundreds of ladies other than her who would love to meet you for all the right reasons.” I thought to myself “Hmm, that's kind of a crude 'How-Do-You-Do.'” But years later, I realize he was right on for being so blunt. It doesn't matter if there were twenty, thirty or fifty guys on any given Romance Tour. There was always one who decided to ignore everything he was told in orientation and would inevitably get scammed out of something. Look, most foreign women who submit profiles to International Marriage Agencies are decent, genuine ladies just trying to meet a nice man for all the right reasons. I believe this because I personally have met and interviewed hundreds of such women over the years. It would be irresponsible of me, however, to overlook the small percentage of foreign women - or men pretending to be women - who use international dating and marriage sites to lure unsuspecting guys into sending them money. I can imagine how it might have felt to learn that lovely Russian lass you were writing to, pouring your heart and soul into each letter, was ultimately a big Russian brute named Vladimir and his equally loquacious cousin Ivan. I can see them laughing at each sentence you might have written. I am sure they cleverly waited through a few weeks of correspondence, giving you time to develop a serious interest in the girl you thought you were getting to know before writing one day to tell you the bittersweet news. “Honey, my sister's neighbor's cousin's hairdresser knows a girl who works for a travel agency with close ties to the US Embassy and can secure for me a tourist visa to come and visit you. We can finally meet! I can't wait! But (sob...) it seems not meant to be (boo hoo) because for me money is not possible (more sobbing.) Of course, you could send me the money - but it seems wrong for me to ask it of you. Perhaps you can consider it. It costs about $1100. Aren't I worth $1100? Why not Western Union some cash to me right now and I'll be there before you know it? And Honey, I'm bringing lingerie!” I shudder to think of how many men fell prey to this exact scenario over the years. Countless times since 2001 someone would call me saying he thought he might be getting scammed, then tell me his girl is asking for money for a tourist visa she can definitely get from some travel agency, and ask if I thought he should send the money. "Nope," I would say "don't send it. Your getting scammed. Don't ever write to her again and move on. I'm sorry, friend." Then... silence on the phone. Usually we would talk a little, I would clarify why I am sure he's getting scammed and we'd hang up. He would never call again and I know he didn't hear a thing I told him and got scammed. Guys - scammers know your vulnerabilities! They know you're lonely, know you would love to meet someone lovely and exciting, know you like the female body and know you've been trained to believe you must spend money to impress a girl, especially in the early stages of courtship. They know you'll do almost anything to feel needed and loved! They know you read all the half-truths around foreign womens' views on age difference with their partner. Scammers know how easy it is for us to fall into the "Hello there little lady, I'm John-Wayne and I'm here to kick down a wall and rescue you from these here horrible varmints called Ukrainian men." Syndrome." SO - scammers submit profiles with suggestive photos showing lots of skin. They hint around about wanting to meet a "generous" guy more than 30 years their age, and tell us we could easily win their confidence if we only prove our sincerity by buying them a nice present. Sound familiar? The will tell you anything to suck you into their scam! And be assured guys - THIS IS A SCAM! The tens of thousands of sincere, decent foreign women don't behave like this at all. I would guess roughly 25% of all the available profiles you will find to be scams designed to get into your wallet in some way. It's not only tragic how many guys get taken every year by dating agency scams, the further tragedy is that good guys - well-meaning, sincere men - will get disgusted or scared off long before they have a chance to meet the thousands and thousands of very wonderful and real ladies in the foreign bride search! I want you - the serious foreign bride finder - to see beyond the lies to the very real love that most certainly waits for you. So here are some good rules to follow - rules that will help you avoid scams and find the shortest possible path to HER! |
GET ALL YOUR FOREIGN BRIDE QUESTIONS ANSWERED! Other Scam questions covered in my book Foreign Bride 101: A How-To For Nice Guys include: “MY GIRL ALREADY HAS HER TOURIST VISA. SHE SCANNED IT AND SENT IT TO ME IN MY EMAIL. SURELY THAT'S NOT A SCAM...RIGHT?” “I HAVE BEEN WRITING TO A FOREIGN GIRL WHO IS ASKING ME TO SEND MONEY TO PAY FOR INTERNET COSTS. IS THIS TYPICAL AND HOW MUCH SHOULD I SEND?” "MY FOREIGN GIRL IS ASKING ME TO BUY HER A COMPUTER AND A CELL PHONE SO WE COULD COMMUNICATE BETTER AND MORE OFTEN. THIS SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD IDEA... IS IT?" “I HAVE BEEN ASKED TO HELP A GIRL I AM WRITING TO PAY FOR URGENT MEDICAL EXPENSES FOR HER OR A MEMBER OF HER FAMILY. SHOULD I SEND MONEY IN THIS CASE?” “I PLAN TO PARTICIPATE IN A ROMANCE TOUR AND AM WRITING TO SEVERAL LADIES I EXPECT TO MEET. ONE IS SUGGESTING WE MEET AT A MALL OR AN EXPENSIVE RESTAURANT FOR A FIRST DATE. IS THIS TYPICAL AND ACCEPTABLE?” “MY GIRL TELLS ME SHE WILL COOK ME A HOME MADE MEAL BUT SHE DOESN'T HAVE ALOT OF FOOD. SHOULD I TAKE HER SHOPPING TO BUY SOME?” “MY FOREIGN GIRL AND I HAVE SPENT CONSIDERABLE TIME TOGETHER, HAVE BECOME INTIMATE AND ARE APPLYING FOR THE FIANCÉE VISA, YET DESPITE ALL THIS SHE REFUSES TO SAY SHE LOVES ME. SHE SAYS IT IS TOO EARLY. DOES THIS MAKES SENSE?” “I HAVE BEEN CORRESPONDING WITH A RUSSIAN GIRL FOR A FEW MONTHS AND SHE IS SUGGESTING WE MEET FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A PLACE LIKE FRANCE, OR TURKEY. SHE SAYS SHE CAN PURCHASE A VERY AFFORDABLE TRAVEL PACKAGE FOR US IF I SEND HER MONEY. WHAT SHOULD I THINK ABOUT THIS?” |
| Be careful when women's profiles reveal too much! Profiles with pictures like these are probably paid models - who may or may not know their info has been sold to an International Marriage Agency. |
| Eastern European women have a natural flair for presentation in everything they do...in the way they bake a cake, sew a dress or pose for a photograph! |
1. DO NOT send money to any girl you have never met, are not in love with, or engaged to.
2. If you find yourself about to send money to a foreign girl you haven't met, are not in love with and not engaged to,
PLEASE REVIEW RULE NUMBER 1!! Foreign women DO NOT EVER fall in love through correspondence and DO NOT
EVER come to visit a total stranger on a tourist visa.
3. DO NOT send money to any girl you are writing to for internet support. (Depending on an agency's specific policies,
it may be necessary to pay THE AGENCY for correspondence services like Express Mail or translations BUT always do so
having researched the agency with reliable referrals.)
4. DO NOT expect to buy a girl's love with expensive gifts or cash. Too many young girls join agencies to get in on the
kind of cash their girlfriends have gotten from a foreign boyfriend. Too many foreign men shell out thousands of dollars to
foreign super-model wannabes thinking their working their way toward a lifetime of "I Dream of Jeannie" only to get dumped
completely before getting a first kiss. DO give modest gifts, flowers, candy etc. to her and her family once you've met and
fallen in love. My idea of a modest gift is anything up to $100. Cosmetics, clothing, small jewelry, nice wine, Godiva chocolate,
etc. DO plan to cover all the expenses related to her fiancée visa application and interview, including travel and hotel if she
lives away from the US Embassy in her country.
5. DO NOT buy your girl a cell phone, home computer or English lessons unless engaged.
6. DO wait until your girl's arrival in this country before you buy an expensive engagement ring. It should be fine to
present your foreign fiancée with a modest engagement ring before her arrival in your country.
7. DO realize most scamming foreign women couldn't care less about foreign citizenship in your country. If they're not in
this for a husband they're probably in it for money. The one's looking for a husband will ask you for love, attention,
friendship, support, kisses, hugs and intimacy. The one's looking for money will ask you for - well, MONEY!! Again, remember
- when we become engaged, married and beyond our foreign women will want to be able to spend money on necessary
things (foreign women are really quite frugal, you'll find) and on the occasional toy for their child or gift for their family back
home. If you are smart and want your girl to be happy - DO NOT try to restrict your foreign fiancée to some kind of an
allowance you wouldn't give your 12 year old. BAD IDEA!
8. DO NOT expect any foreign girl to come here and visit you before you have met, courted, fallen in love and become
engaged. Know you will ultimately have to get on the plane and go yourself if you are going to find HER!
9. DO NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH OR FILE A FIANCÉE VISA FOR ANY WOMAN WHO HAS NOT DEMONSTRATED A
TRUE ATTRACTION AND HEALTHY AFFECTION FOR YOU.
10. IF YOU SUSPECT YOU ARE BEING SCAMMED, DO AN INTERNET SEARCH FOR YOUR FOREIGN GIRL'S NAME
TO SEE IF ANY OTHER MEN HAVE POSTED INFORMATION ABOUT HER. VISIT ANTI-SCAM SITES AND / OR READ
RECOMMENDED BOOKS ON THE TOPIC TO INCREASE YOUR AWARENESS OF POSSIBLE RED FLAG BEHAVIORS.
PLEASE SEE THE INDEX AT THE BACK OF THIS BOOK FOR MY PERSONAL RECOMMENDATIONS.
That's it. Sounds easy enough, right? One would think so, but if a guy has been scammed by a foreign
girl there's a good chance one of the above rules have been broken. I am by no means suggesting one be cheap and
neglectful when it comes to a girl's birthday or special holidays like International Women's Day. (March 8th is widely celebrated
in other countries on the same scale as Valentine's Day in America. Do not forget your girl on this of all days.) But I would
spend modestly until you know the girl to be sincere, reliable and solidly interested in you.
ONCE ENGAGED, YOU SHOULD EXPECT TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE COSTS ASSOCIATED WITH THAT
PROCESS, I.E., POLICE REPORTS, DRIVING LESSONS, ENGLISH LESSONS, TRAVEL TO HER INTERVIEW SITE, TRAVEL TO
YOUR COUNTRY AND FILING FEES. None of these should overwhelm any guy who believes himself ready to support a wife
and family.
| This is a nice photo, for obvious reasons, but most self-respecting foreign ladies wouldn't try to impress their prospective husband with this kind of a profile photo. To them, it sends all the wrong messages. |
| Yet most sincere foreign ladies would choose a flattering outfit or a flirty pose over showing too much skin in a profile photo. These ladies know how to accentuate their positives without showing too much. |
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| Foreign Bride 101 A "How-To" For Nice Guys By Bud Patterson |
| A must-read for anyone seriously considering the search for a foreign bride! 113 pages! Buy It Now |
| $39.95 2.27 MB Color PDF File (Allow 24 hrs delivery) |
| $59.95 B/W Coil-Bound Soft Cover (Allow 1 week delivery) |
| Copyright Foreign Bride 101 2008 |
| A recent article from a Russian news-site describes a typical set-up: "The scam was wonderfully simple. On the Internet were placed photos of beautiful girls that were claiming to look for foreign husbands. Gullible grooms were sending future wives from Yoshkar-Ola money for travel expenses. And this was the end of the correspondence. 'A citizen of USA applied to the Ministry of Home Affairs complaining that a Russian woman received from him more than 2000 US Dollars in a fraudulent way', - says the press-secretary of the Ministry of Home Affairs, Anatoly Platonov. After receiving numerous complaints detectives of department 'K' arrested 4 people in Yoshkar-Ola. The most interesting thing is that it was not the women that were corresponding with foreign men but 2 guys. The beauties were only there to receive the money. They were paid $50 for each transfer." |
| In another scenario: One couple from California, he an American businessman and she his Russian bride, were tried and convicted a few years ago for defrauding men out of thousands of dollars. The man's wife posed as each client's prospective foreign bride, promising to come and visit if he paid the travel costs. Clients were let down at the last minute when they were notified she would not be able to make the trip due to unforeseen circumstances. Ouch!! |
| HERE'S THE HEADS UP - THE ONLY BODY THAT CAN ISSUE ANY FOREIGN LADY A TOURIST VISA IS THAT COUNTRY'S UNITED STATES EMBASSY, CONSULAR DIVISION! SO FEW TOURIST VISAS ARE OFFERED IN THE FORMER SOVIET UNION, FOR EXAMPLE, THAT RUSSIANS AND UKRAINIANS THINK WE ARE SCAMMING THEM - TAKING THEIR MONEY TO PROCESS APPLICATIONS THEY ARE NOT LIKELY TO GET! |
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