1. Keep It Real About Age Difference: If you do nothing else I advise here, pay attention to this rule. While the vast majority of guys seeking international love will focus only on women under 25, there can be a whole host of problems with this group of ladies. Now I'm not saying that every girl under 25 is insincere. I am saying the vast majority of agencies trying to scam you are going to do so with profiles of ladies who are under 25. Why? Because they know the thousands of men seeking a foreign bride each year - most of whom are over 40 - are looking exclusively at the under 25 crowd. Why try to scam you with someone in her 30's? How boring!! A better approach would be to stroke their ego with the ruse of a beautiful, gullible, innocent model-wannabe falling madly in love through correspondence. Guys - I've interviewed hundreds of foreign women in the past 9 years and almost all of them have said they want to meet men who may be older but no more than 12 - 15 years. In other words, foreign girls want men from their generation. If you're older than her father, that's probably not a good sign. Agencies know that men love fantasy and if they sell it to you - you're buying. Big time. In the foreign bride search you could easily meet a sincere girl in her late 20's or 30's or 40's who is perfectly real and totally interested in you for all the right reasons. Don't be sucked into "I Dream Of Jeanne" meets "Fantasy Island." In the process of trying to avoid scams - don't scam yourself! 2. Fully Clothed Profiles: If her profile looks like it belongs in a swimsuit or lingerie model's portfolio - well, that's because it probably was. Many agencies based in Russia or Ukraine will buy from modeling agencies profiles of unsuspecting women who have no idea their portfolio's are being sold to a marriage agency. That same agency will then hire English speaking women to write endless letters to guys impersonating those same "model wannabes." Guys in their 40's and 50's pay through the nose to write to fake profiles of scantily clad girls sitting spread-eagle on the beach... "Yes, I'm absolutely gorgeous and only 21, sitting hear on the beach in my thong yet I can't attract a local man my age. I'm pretty enough to be the next Bond girl but alas, I'm so lonely and cannot meet someone. Please all men up to 90 write to me, I'm waiting for you..." Guys who correspond to such profiles are making some scammers awfully stinking rich. Yet, again, the agencies that are trying to scam you are going to sell you fantasy and they know what your fantasy looks like. They're not likely to post real profiles of ladies who are fully clothed and respectfully represented by their choice of poses and profile data. How boring! The men I have known who actually traveled to Russia or Ukraine to meet such perfect, young models were run around until they were broke and got nowhere. Again, keep it real, guys. The many sincere ladies who want you the right way may be older and fully clothed but they'll look just as fine in their lingerie or bikini. TRUST ME! There are many men who come to an agency like A Foreign Affair only to meet the top 1% of all 40,000 profiles there. Be realistic and sensible as you develop your filter for eligible ladies. 3. Talk With Her By Phone: If you choose to avoid the above 2 rules and you do target the under 25 and/or scantily clothed crowd, and if you're getting close to a 100% response to all your letters - I might suggest a phone call or two. Translated phone calls can easily be arranged with any of the girls you are writing to - if they are real. If you're getting long, romantic and flirty letters from girls who are ready to fall in love with you after just a week or so and your whole correspondence experience seems too good to be true - call up the girls and talk to them. This is your reality check against the possible fake profile where the interpreters are writing letters scam. If the girls are real they'll remember everything you wrote about. They'll be there at each call's scheduled time. They'll sound every bit as enthusiastic on the phone as they do in their letters. If on the other hand, they seem disinterested, short-memoried and in a hurry to get off the phone, that would totally contradict the letters you've been getting, right? And why would there be such a contrast in behaviors unless... BUT!!! The above only applies to women you have developed steady correspondence with. Girls are less likely to be excited and talkative if you've only written one or two letters. Why? Because the vast majority of men will write one or two letters but never get on a plane and go meet someone. Foreign girls know this. If you're talking after having written a few letters you will probably be viewed as being more serious in your intentions. That will help you capture her interest. 4. Do NOT Send Money: to any girl you haven't met, fallen in love with, become engaged to and are not absolutely sure is in love with you. If all of the above have occurred then at some point we men will do what men in committed relationships do. There are some aspects of the fiancée visa process, such as translated documents and possible English lessons for example, that we must pay for. I am by no means saying be cheap during courtship, rather, you should send flowers and gifts on any occasion that requires it. But if the above criteria is not in place, there's no good reason to send cash. I don't care what the circumstances are - if she's asking for money, check that request against the above criteria and if there's one part unchecked - don't do it. That means do not pay for internet services, do not pay for medical services or English lessons or computers, cell phones etc. Do not take her shopping for a date. Do not send her money for traveling to America - that is most assuredly a scam if you haven't yet met. No foreign girl in her right mind could or would travel across the world alone to meet a total stranger. 5. Your First Date Is a Cup Of Coffee: One of the trickier scams in the modern foreign bride search involves girls who pick their own "translator" when you go abroad to meet them or try to go to an expensive restaurant for that first date . Girls will cite comfort and familiarity with a particular interpreter as their reason for the request. Some will say that the agency responsible for introducing the two of you will insist on their interpreter being used for your meeting, versus one of your choosing. This is a common form of scam where the translator will charge you excessive for basic services (like sitting around your hotel room while you unpack or for watching your TV with your girl when it's raining outside) then split the fees later with your girl. Many women would simply accept your interpreter and be just fine. If she has a serious problem with your choice of translator, be careful to discuss exactly why. Be very tactful but insist that you use your interpreter at least half the time and see how she reacts. Most sincere women really wouldn't care. The one possible exception to this rule would be if the girl is traveling alone a long distance to meet you. Due to the problems with human-trafficking in the FSU, some girls will simply not travel unescorted in some way. This is completely understandable, given the risks to them. In this case - be sensitive but aware. And that first date - make it a cup of coffee, or a glass of wine, or a walk around the park - or at most a lite lunch at a cafe of your choice. Cafes serve great food and ambiance without the 5 star prices and decor. Any serious girl will have no problem with one of these less expensive options for a first date. If you choose one of these and come away feeling sure the girl is sincere and well-intentioned, then a more extravagant second or third date will be in order. Don't be cheap - but don't be a sucker either. |
| 5 Best Practices To Help You Avoid International Dating Scams: |
I tell guys all the time that getting scammed in the foreign bride search is a personal choice and completely avoidable. That's right, I believe the vast majority of guys who get scammed do so willingly by simply not listening to the wealth of good advice available all over the internet. Men get scammed when trying to meet women too young for them. They get scammed when pursuing only the most perfect women whose profiles resemble those of Victoria Secret models. They get scammed when trying to do too much too soon for women they barely know. And they get scammed by trying to buy the love of a beautiful girl. In my 9 years of work in the foreign bride search I've watched countless men get run around in circles by girls and agencies trying to do nothing but get inside their wallets. Some asked me for advice along the way on whether or not I thought they were taking part in something disingenuous and when I told them I thought yes they were - I never heard from them again. I'm sure that's because they chose not to listen, got scammed and were too embarrassed to admit so to me later on. One thing I can say in defense of every guy who's had an emotional or financial ass-kicking from the foreign bride search is simply that the scams are getting scammier every year. Those less than sincere bodies are getting better and better at fooling us. Look, I promise you there are tens of thousands of very lovely sincere ladies in the foreign bride search who would love to meet you for all the right reasons. And there are agencies that can reliably introduce you to them. Every guy who leaves the foreign bride search because of a scam is one less guy available to meet any of the fine women who still wait to be discovered and loved. So for those of you still earnestly trying to do this the right way, I'm going to give you an iron-clad, take-it-to-the-ATM set of rules to follow to avoid 99.9% of the international dating scams. To find the shortest possible path to HER - please read and heed - the well-intended advice below. BTW, for the average guy in the search - NONE of these will be easy to follow. |
| 5 Rules To Help You Avoid Getting Scammed In The Foreign Bride Search |
| For more ways to avoid getting scammed in your search for an international life-partner: 1. Join my weekly telephone conference, each Monday starting at 9:30pm EST - sponsored by Dial 404-920-6610 and when prompted enter 935905#. This is a free call - only your normal long distance rates apply. 2. Read my book: Foreign Bride 101: A How-To For Nice Guys! |
| Yet most sincere foreign ladies would choose a flattering outfit or a flirty pose over showing too much skin in a profile photo. These ladies know how to accentuate their positives without showing too much. |
| This is a nice photo, for obvious reasons, but most self-respecting foreign ladies wouldn't try to impress their prospective husband with this kind of a profile photo. To them, it sends all the wrong messages. |
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